Don’t. Burn. Bridges.

Faced with a layoff or a crappy boss, have you thought about just unloading?

It’s happened to me a few times, but I recall the first time. I had just been laid off with a lot of friends I made over 16 years.  People who were very good at their jobs — and some who admittedly probably weren’t — were told there was no room for them in a smaller organization.  They were taken care of financially, but a layoff offers an opportunity to “tell people how you really feel.” 

But while others packed up their personal things and left that Wednesday morning, I had a decision to make.  I was near the end of a long, difficult contract renewal and knew that my successor would have to start over and the deal most likely wouldn’t get done.

So I asked if I could stay through the end of the week and get the contract signed.  I had no expectation that I’d ever be back; it just seemed like the right thing to do.  I got the deal signed…at 5 p.m. on Friday afternoon with my manager graciously waiting to escort us out and go to a family function.

I never thought I’d be back.  Except I was asked to return. Different role, different part of the bank.  But the reason I was invited back was because people respected the way I left.

You just never know...

Never burn bridges.

There was a point in my life where I probably embraced Don Henley’s view that ”sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge,” but no longer.

As you make the decision to leave a job and become a consultant, don’t unleash your frustrations because now you’re going to be “your own boss.”  You never know who might be in a position to hire you for a project or refer you to a new client.  You never know if your boss in a crappy situation could move and become a cool boss who brings you into a great situation.

If you’re mad at a reporter who you feel misquoted you, remember that you should never get into a fight with someone who buys their ink by the barrel (metaphorically speaking in the new world of digital news).

If you’ve got a consulting client who hasn’t paid you or delayed a project or has been a total pain to work with, don’t unload.  You never know.

There’s a difference between standing up for yourself and burning a bridge

Now that doesn’t mean you should take whatever people shovel at you.  But there’s a difference between providing feedback or standing up for yourself and burning a bridge.  No matter how good you think it will feel — or how good it felt — it will almost always come back to haunt you.  It becomes part of your brand with some segment of your audience and changing a brand is very difficult.

I have a reputation as a bulldog.  I — and others — viewed that as an expression of my tenacity and endurance, of my ability to get things done.  But there are some who saw that as an expression of me as a “bull in a china shop,” of someone who was quick to push back and whose “What” was great but whose “How” sometimes resulted in “high body counts.”  That view probably impacted the decision to include me in the layoff and it affected other things (bonuses, promotions, job opportunities).  But I had heard the criticism and changed my approach in the year leading up to my departure.

So when people started talking about the new role and my name was brought up, I was told that how I left the bank played a big role in the hiring decision. Frankly, it had never occurred to me how important that decision would be.

Don’t burn bridges.

Does anyone else have good examples of where the decision not to burn a bridge paid off later on?